I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
