No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
