woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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