So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
