Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
