obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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