so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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