There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
