I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
