I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
