I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
