i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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