dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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