the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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