He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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