no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
