went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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