i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
