i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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