Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
