Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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