I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
