it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
