i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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