4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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