My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
It's just like the Real World with babies
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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