My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
