the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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