If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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