Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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