You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
