it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
