Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
