Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
