Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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