Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i came on her dog
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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