he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
