drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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