Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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