O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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