I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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