Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
