Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i think i have herpe
just one?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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