She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ๐๐
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah Iโd say sheโs rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
