C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
