well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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