What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
