just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
