Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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