The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We were destined to go to rehab together
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
