the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
