Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
