No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
