So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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